twirly twirly twirly

During the school year, the thought of having endless hours of nothing to do sounds soothing and wonderful, a kind of hazy ideal of naps and snacks and lazing in bed with a book.  However, now that summer is here and I don't have anything to occupy my mornings, I've managed to get bored quite quickly.  It's going to likely be worse now that Mom's working out of town for several weeks at once because there's not anyone to be bored with!  So, I have begun questing for different ways to occupy myself.  I've gotten through a couple bestsellers, and I've been doing well with my goal to make at least one new recipe each week.  I've gone dancing at least twice, had a Shakespeare night, played a few game nights, and watched more hours of Netflix than I can count.

In defiance of boredom, I decided to do something I've never done before.  I made a skirt!

and one, and two, and a twirly twirly twirly!

When Jessica and I went swing dancing at Kats Korner on Saturday, she had a super swirly dress on.  I have one pink dress that spins, but I've worn it dancing so many times already that I've been wanting a new one.  It's hard to find a reasonably priced dress that spins just right, so I thought - I'll make one!

I've never sewn before, aside from some sloppy little stitching project in Pioneer Girls growing up in church.  I've certainly never used the sewing machine before, or bought fabric.  I found a tutorial online here at MADE, which was so delightfully simple to follow.  Jessica and I went to JoAnn's to find cloth, which was probably the longest part of the process.  There were at once both so many to choose from and so few.  It doesn't help that I'm terribly indecisive.  Oh well, I've already decided I'm going to make another one.  :)

We came back and took over the kitchen, cutting out patterns and cloth, ironing and pinning things, sewing and crying out in mild frustration over our inexperience.  We got about halfway done before it was time to go off to a Memorial Day picnic - which was thoroughly enjoyable, as were the many rounds of Scattegories and Bang! that were played afterward.  But I digress.

This morning I got up (after a ridiculously lazy lie-in) and finished the skirt.  I did manage to mess it up a bit, but I fixed it and I don't even notice the flaw, so hopefully no one else will, either.  I then went outside with the camera and took a bunch of fun pictures to show how well it spins.  I am so pleased!  Oh, and I made a matching headband to go with it.

 I, Laura Kathleen, have made an article of clothing.  And it doesn't look awful.  It does what I want.  It looks like I expected.  It worked!  I did it!  I feel SO accomplished!  I have added a new skill to my repertoire.  I have taken one step closer to being able to do everything.

bonus recipe - Pina Colada smoothie

The other night, mom cut up a fresh pineapple, and I looooooove pineapple.  I decided I needed to make a smoothie, but not the healthy kind.  It was perfect.  Light, fruity, delicious.

Ingredients

2 or 3 scoops Haagen-Dasz pineapple coconut ice cream
about 1/2 c of ice
as many pineapple chunks as you want
about a cup of pina colada mixer*

Directions
1) Mix it all together with a blender.
2) Genießen.  (enjoy!)

Rosemary Hummus

I'm sitting here snacking on this week's recipe as I blog.  I was at the grocery store earlier, realizing that the week was almost half over, and while I had cooked several times, I hadn't made anything from a new recipe, (which is my challenge to myself over the summer).  Mom wanted some hummus, but the store only had roasted red pepper (my favorite!), and since she doesn't like peppers, she hadn't bought any.  So, I decided to make her some.

Hummus is delicious, high in protein, gluten free, vegetarian, and vegan.  It's great with pita or veggies and makes a good on-the-go meal or a healthy snack.  I chose rosemary to flavor it because a) it's my favorite and b) I have a large rosemary bush in the backyard, so it's convenient.  Also, you'll notice that there's no tahini* in my hummus, for two reasons: I don't like sesame, and we didn't have any anyways.

Ingredients
2 cans garbanzo beans, drained
1/4 c olive oil
1/4 c lemon juice
2 cloves garlic**
1 tsp cumin**
salt to taste
several sprigs of rosemary
up to 1/2 c water (or garbanzo juice that you drained out of the cans)

Directions
1) Blend everything together in a food processor until smooth.
2) Add the water a little at a time until you get your desired consistency.
3) Devour.

Yes, it's really that easy.  I wish mine was just a little smoother, but that will probably vary by food processor.  The flavor is very nice.  Just now, I added some feta, green olives, and a few red pepper flakes to my dish, just to kick it up a bit.

I don't know why you put olive oil in the center, you just do!

 * If you don't share my dislike, add about 1/4 c of sesame seeds or tahini

** I added a little more of each of these because I thought it needed more flavor.  I also added a dash of McCormick's roasted garlic and bell pepper seasoning.

Bahamian Vacation

This last week was long and wonderful and relaxing and just what I needed.  It was filled with fun and adventure, and so fair warning: this is likely to be a long post!

Day 1: Phoenix - Ft. Lauderdale
In the early morning hours, I met Marc at security and we boarded our plane.  I usually fly alone, and I enjoyed the single best advantage of flying with a buddy - trading massages throughout the flight.  Passes the time nicely and makes those chairs more bearable.  Once in Ft. Lauderdale, we caught a bus to the car rental place and met Chantel and Shantel and picked up our big ol' Ford Expedition, which fit all 8 of us and our luggage (snugly).  I was the driver, even though Matt's older, and I was thrilled to find it had a little back-up camera in the rearview mirror to keep me from crashing into anything.  Matt, Chris, Austin, and Sicily took a train from Palm Beach to meet us, and when they got there I got a running, jumping, spinning cinema-worthy-epic-airport-reunion hug from Matt, and we set off for our hotel.  We checked into our hotel and attacked the buffet before going outside to sit in the hot tub and watch the lightning (which curtailed our time in the hot tub), and then collapsed sleepily into bed.

Day 2: Ft. Lauderdale
On Tuesday, we learned the true price of our free cruise - the hidden timeshare meeting.  Sigh.  Three and a half hours with "Big Jim," who managed to insult each and every one of us before his tour was over.  However, we did get free breakfast and lunch out of it, which helped stifle some of the complaining.  Once free of him, we found a chiropractor for poor Shantel, whose neck was in pretty severe pain.  We then went to the beach, where Sicily and I watched people cavort in the waves as our fear of the ocean kept us knee-deep or less.  It began to rain, which was quite chilly, and I looked over at Sicily to see her hair rise up to stand on end.  The electricity in the air was so strong that it freaked us out a bit, and we called the others in from the water.  Chris came out bleeding from their game of ninja, the first wound of the trip.  We split up for dinner, some going for Greek food and others for sushi.  Back at the hotel, we tried the hot tub again, but it seemed to be leaking and eventually the water was so shallow that the jets were spraying us in the face, so we retired to our room to talk about super powers instead.

Day 3: Ft. Lauderdale - Cruise Ship
Wednesday morning, took Shantel to the chiropractor again, happily checked out of the hotel, and went to kill some time at one of the large flea markets in the area.  I found a sarong, Matt found sunglasses, and Shantel found a hat, so we were remarkably successful.  We went back to our hotel to capitalize on the almost-free lunch buffet (squeezing every bit of "free" out of this trip!) and then headed up to Port of Palm Beach to board our boat.

The ship was lovely.  We found our little cabins and deposited our things, and then went exploring before going up to the deck to watch as we set sail.  Matt and I sat down to read in one of the lounges while others went out scavenging for free food from the Italian place on the 4th floor.  When dinnertime came, we went to our reservations in the Brazilian restaurant, Rio's, where the servers would come by your table with a long skewer of delicious meats and slice them off onto your plate.  We had pork sirloin wrapped in bacon, top sirloin, and spanish sausage, in addition to the potato soup, caesar salad, and various entrees.  Desert was an apple crumble or a chocolate cake, and many of us indulged in more than one of each.  I think Matt wins the prize for eating the most desserts on this trip.

After dinner, we went our different ways.  I ended up on the top deck with Marc, looking out at the blackness of the night, unable to tell where the sea stopped and the sky began.  Right as Marc was talking about the eeriness of it all, and what if there was a spooky glow in the sky, lightning struck on the horizon.  We stayed up there watching it flash, and attempted to sit in the hot tub, but the wind was fierce and eventually drove us inside.  We searched the entire ship from top to bottom several times looking for our group, and finally found them in a random service hallway on the third floor (the lowest we're allowed).  As we went to bed, we realized how unstable the top bunks were.  Sicily and Austin shared a wall between the two rooms, and every time he moved, her bed would shake, which in addition to the movement of the boat was quite unsettling.

 
Day 4: Cruise Ship - Grand Bahama Island
On Thursday, we gorged ourselves on the breakfast buffet.  I ate more breakfast this week than in the last several months, I'm pretty sure.  I'm normally not hungry in the mornings, but on this trip meals were fairly spread out, so we took advantage of every morsel of free sustenance.  We walked right through customs - Shantel without shoes on - and got our passports stamped and got on a bus to our resort.  We couldn't check in until 3pm, so we hit the beach.

It. was. gorgeous.  Oh my.  Sicily and I conquered some of our ocean fears because the water was so crystal clear.  We all splashed and swam and played in the sand.  We went exploring, wandering up the coast to a strip of volcanic rock that projected into the sea.  We laid in the sun and read, Shantel was buried in a monstrous sand shark exploding from the shore, and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly in this slice of tropical paradise.  Unfortunately, most people got burned.  I had a bit on my scalp and the tops of my shoulders, but Marc eventually turned purplish on his legs, Cicely's back blistered a bit, and Chantel was pink all over.  It wasn't all carelessness, but a strong sun and a long time out.

We took a shuttle into Port Lucaya that evening to look around the shops and get some dinner.  We ate at a Bahamian restaurant, where several people ordered entrees featuring conch as the meat.  I had more Greek food.  :)  We also found a pay phone petting zoo!  We thought they had become extinct, as survival of the fittest has allowed smartphones to take over the US, but there was a whole herd of them together.  Mystified by their long tails, we'd forgotten how to use them.  The locals thought we were a little insane, taking our pictures with these creatures, because though we thought they were rare, their populace here is abundant.  We also found a telephone booth and entertained ourselves thoroughly.

That night, we sat on the beach after dark and watched the stars, listening to the steady sounds of the ocean.  We sat in silence, simply taking in the lush nighttime air and the darkness and the stars.  It was one of those genuinely peaceful moments, where all the cares are gone and you can just enjoy the beauty of God's creation in silence with good friends.



Day 5: Grand Bahama Island
Friday morning, we set no alarms.  I woke up before the other girls and went out to walk along the deserted beach and read my book.  It was so peaceful, with few other people around, the shoreline empty and the sun sparkling off the gentle waves.

 When everyone else came out to swim - though some had to stay in the shade or indoors because of sunburn - I decided to be courageous.  Sort of.  Shantel and Chris helped me out past the terrifying barrier of seaweed to deeper clear waters.  I went out far enough that I couldn't touch the bottom, which I don't think I've ever done before.  It wasn't awful, but eventually my fears got the better of me and I swam back to shore.  I swam on my back so that I wouldn't have to see the darkness underneath me, but I ran into the buoy rope - covered in sea-growth, eep! - and had to turn over to swim under it, which meant looking right at the source of my underwater fears.  It was NOT fun; even though it sounds silly, I have a real fear of things under the ocean, but I made it back to shore and sat in the shallower waters till they came back.

We ate lunch at the resort, feasting on granola bars, tuna, ramen, pop tarts, toast, and soup - anything we could find in the one small convenience store in Port Lucaya.  It was a true starving-college-student feast.  We went back into the marketplace for more shopping, and Shantel and I bought drinks in coconuts.  That was one of my few solid goals for this trip - drink something out of a coconut.  It was quite yummy!  Though the coconut was green, not brown and hairy like I'd imagined.  Ah well.  We looked at expensive yachts, talked to a handsome captain from Australia, and sang to the other passengers waiting for the shuttle back to the resort. 

yes, we know we can't spell.  No smartphones to check!

Once back, we watched the sunset over the beach before retiring early.  The girls mostly sat around and ate popcorn and read our books.  There were two kittens living outside our doorway, and periodically I went out to give them some affection as they were so adorable.


Day 6: Grand Bahama Island - Cruise Ship
The next morning, we checked out of the hotel at 10, but as our bus didn't come till 1, we had some more time on the beach.  Austin, Chantel, Sicily, Chris and I mostly sat around reading in the shade, soaking up our last bit of the Caribbean.  Marc, Matt, and Shantel went to the Grand Lucayan Resort and rented themselves a sailboat.  Unfortunately, 15 minutes into their sail the mast popped off its ball and socket joint and they had to be towed in again.  Sounded like an adventure, and though I would have liked to go sailing, I don't really regret not joining them.

Once aboard the boat, we again attacked the buffet, not having had lunch on the island.  We indulged in the free unlimited ice cream, as well, before finding comfortable niches in the boat to nap or read until dinner.  This time, our reservations were for the Crystal Room, the formal (but still free) restaurant.  We changed and went in for a 5-course meal, where again we ate a great many desserts.  Afterwards, we went to watch the magician, the cirque du soleil performers, and then ran away in the middle of the comedian's routine.  We went to the Ocean Breeze Lounge for some salsa and merengue dancing, at the end of which Chris threw me on the ground.  It was a mortifying way to end the dancing, but after that I was done, and went outside to teach Austin how to salsa, and to look at the stars above the ocean one last time.

Day 7: Cruise Ship - Palm Beach - Ft. Lauderdale - Phoenix
After one last very large breakfast buffet, we left the ship.  US customs took a good deal longer than in the Bahamas, but we made it through.  We had several hours till we needed to be back to the airports, so we went to the beach and saw a jellyfish, a dead crab, and took many pictures with the ocean spray crashing on the rocks.  After a quick lunch, we headed out.  We dropped Matt, Chris, Sicily, and Austin at the Palm Beach airport and drove back to Ft. Lauderdale.  After dropping of Shantel and Chantel, Marc and I returned the car, only to find they were charging us for an extra day.  After a moment of panic and some stern words with the desk clerk, the price went back down to what was expected and we went to our flights.  We watched No Country for Old Men on Marc's laptop, but the battery died with only 20 minutes left, so I don't know how it ends.  The only food we had by then was some peanut butter crackers and gummy life savers, which isn't much of a meal, but we survived and looked forward to going home to sleep in our own beds and eat from a pantry again. 

It was a good vacation, indeed.

Imitation in the Kitchen - Cheddar Bay Biscuits

A couple weeks ago, I saw a recipe for "Cheddar Bay Biscuits," a knock-off of something served at Red Lobster, where I have never eaten nor have any desire to eat, as I don't like seafood.  Wait, I take that back, I ate at one in New York, for reasons unknown.  I ate a caesar salad, my traditional seafood avoidance dish.

Anyways.

All of a sudden, I heard of these biscuits often, and always with glowing praise for their deliciousness.  Having spent the last week in the tropical paradise of the Bahamas, (I promise, that blog post is coming soon!) I've heard a lot about seafood and different recipes and approaches, but this is the only one that appealed to me, as it's NOT fish.  Finally being home and looking forward to not eating out, I decided I needed to try this recipe.  I enjoyed myself so much that I have set a summer goal: make at least one thing from an actual recipe every week.

So, I give you a recipe based on a food I never tried first - Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits.

Ingredients:
 2 1/2 C Bisquick
3/4 C cold milk
4 Tbsp (1/2 stick) cold butter
1/4 tsp garlic powder*
1 C cheddar cheese

- for the topping -
2 Tbsp melted butter
1/4 tsp parsley flakes**
1/2 tsp garlic salt
pinch of salt

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400°.
 
Mix Bisquick and cold butter with a pastry cutter, whisk, or large fork.  You don't want to mix them too much, but you want about pea-sized chunks of butter in the baking mix.

Add cheese, milk, and garlic, but don't over mix it.

Drop onto an un-greased baking sheet.  I used an ice cream scooper and it worked really nicely, but they were a lot larger than I thought they'd be.

Bake 15-17 minutes, or until starting to turn a little golden brown.

Mix the second half of the ingredients and brush onto the finished biscuits.

Devour.

* I used some roasted garlic in addition to the garlic powder.  I also added a dash of red pepper flakes for a tiny bit of kick.  DELICIOUS.  Mom would hate it, but Dad and I loved the little bite.

** I didn't have any parsley flakes, so I used oregano and herbs de provence, and it was good.  Probably better, since I think parsley is a fairly pointless herb.

*** I should start cooking things during the daytime so that my pictures can look nicer.

burdens on my heart

My heart aches tonight.

I have some very definite ideas of what I want out of life.  I have goals and I get close to them, and then they are no longer in my control and that frustrates me to no end.  I don't like having no ability to work towards what I want.  Patience is not really the problem; it's helplessness that bothers me. 

Some things in my life recently have taken drastic turns, and I am left waiting indefinitely with no guarantees of a positive outcome.  The question becomes, do I keep waiting?  For how long?

I don't want to give up, because these are things I care deeply about.  They are dreams I've clutched tightly and woven ideas around and fallen in love with.  I committed.  I knew it would be difficult, and I said yes anyways.  It's worth the heartache and the struggle and the waiting.

I want to give up.  I don't want to care.  I want to be fine without these hopes, carefree and casual.  I don't want difficult, and I don't want to wait endlessly.

I keep coming back to a quote from Francis Chan's book Crazy Love: "Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives."  I read that and I know the truth of it, and I realize how much I struggle with trusting God to take care of me.  My constant cry is that of the father in Mark 9:24, who "cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help my unbelief."

I do believe.  I do know.  I do trust.  But I do worry, which means I don't really trust, not quite.

I don't know right now which is right, to wait or to give up.  I really, really don't know.

My first instinct was to turn to the Scriptures, and they have been a salve to my soul.  I have read Romans more in the last few months than...well, ever.  Every time I read it, there is something new to discover that speaks straight to my heart.  I can't get enough.  And yet, I find myself not opening my Bible, and not reading.  I can't understand why, when I know the comfort it brings, and how much I love learning more.

I was thinking about this in the car on the way home tonight, wondering why I was so reluctant to continue the study I'd jumped into with so much delight, and I think I found my answer.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of learning more, because it might squash some dreams.  I'm afraid of understanding, because it makes the burden on my heart so much heavier.  I'm afraid of coming to that intimate level of prayer, because I don't want to weep anymore.  I'm afraid of what might be asked of me, afraid of what I might be told to take on and what I might be told to give up.  I'm afraid that God's plans for me aren't as good as what my plans for me are.

And because I'm afraid, I avoid it.  I don't think too much on it, for fear that that dam will burst and I will have to deal with all of it and have to make a choice and have to trust and have to let go of control.  Because really, that's what it is.  It's a control issue.  I want what I want, and I don't trust God to want it, too.

 It sounds so silly to write that.  I know that God's plans are better than mine.  I'm me - look how royally I've screwed things up in the past because I chose what I wanted rather than waiting on what God had for me.  This time is a little different - I do not know which are the right choices here, unlike times past.  But it's the same thing.  I know that God has what is best.  I know that He is infinitely more than I could ever be - wise, good, loving, caring, forgiving, faithful, true.  But my sinful self is resistant despite this knowledge, and it's a battle. 

Some things about God I may not like.  I get angry and hurt when I read some things in the Bible.  I've cried and shouted and told God it's not fair.  But who are you, Laura, to answer back to God?  "Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways! 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor? Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid?' For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen."  (Romans 11:33-36)

 God is God, and I am not.  What a fundamental truth, and yet how I fight it day by day. 

Lord, I want to surrender to Your will, and to stop insisting on mine.  I want to want what You have for me more than dreams I've built.  But I'm going to need Your help in this, because I've proven that I can't do it myself.

summer break is back again!

I would like to start by saying how I am always resistant to changes in social media.  I've adjusted grudgingly to Timeline on facebook, but...Blogger, you have been the same since I started with you 5 years ago, why did you suddenly change?  I do not like this unfamiliar territory.  I feel out of place as a I write, having to reconfigure where everything is and how to do all the little things that once came so easily.

This was not the point of my post, since it was unexpected when I logged on.  It hijacked my train of thought.

Today is the first day of my last summer break as a college student!  I am done with classes and finals and whatnot forever!  Next semester holds only student teaching, choir, and voice lessons (finally with a faculty member).  I have fantastic plans to enjoy my summer.  In a little more than a week I am headed for the Bahamas for my first-ever cruise with 7 of my favorite people.  What a way to kick off the break!

Today, however, I was both very, very lazy and very productive.  I woke up about 10am and stayed in my bed with a book (I'm reading the His Dark Materials trilogy, on loan from Rebekah while she has my Hunger Games trilogy).  I played around on my iPad, finally crawled out of bed around noon, lazily took a shower and put on more pajamas, and read some more.  Then I decided to be not such a lazy bum and I cleaned the bathroom and my bedroom, did some laundry, sent some e-mails and made some phone calls, wrote a thank-you note, packaged several things to be mailed, and then decided I should completely re-organize my closet.

I took out all the clothes and piled them on my bed in a morass of hangers and dress bags and material.  I took out all the shoes and boxes on the floor and sorted them.  I then organized the contents of the closet based on too many factors: possession (half my closet is not my stuff), garment type, frequency of use, likeliness of being worn in this season, and finally color.  I was amazed by how many choir dresses I still have.  Wow.  I felt very accomplished.  I then did busy, productive things that didn't feel productive because they involve sifting through things on Amazon, but it was fun and informative.  I'm now going to go read and snack and be lazy again.

An interesting note to end the post: it feels weird to be done with school and still be in April.  I don't think ever in my life has my sister's birthday been part of my summer vacation.  No complaints here!