A Little Rambling

The best thing that happened to me this week stemmed from the worst thing that happened this week. It's been a pretty rotten week. (It has had its high points - put an offer on a house at last!!) But mostly, it's been a week of pain and tears and worry. There's been a little ice cream eating, a lot of hot tea drinking, and a lot of feeling like I have a weight lodged in my middle that constricts my breath and keeps me from ever being really hungry. There's been a lot of prayers, several bouts of piano therapy, and many more hours of prayers. There's been letter writing, and curling up in my car surrounded by music. There's been sleeplessness and exhaustion. There's been an unshakeable feeling of anxiety. But there's been wonder, too. There's been a constant reminder of God's goodness and provision and faithfulness. There's been a strengthening of my dependence upon Him. There've been fresh reminders of His love and forgiveness,...

...how many times I've listened to this song this week. We all have music that we turn to in different situations, whether we are happy or sad or stressed or upset. When I am anxious or worried, I turn to this song. I'm not sure why - it's not exactly uplifting lyrically. Maybe it's the mellow, sweeping sound that calms me. Maybe because it's in the most comfortable range of my voice. Maybe the open, airy background is just soothing enough that it stills my heart and lets my mind relax. I locked myself in my car for a long time tonight, just listening to this, surrounded by the sound as I poured my thoughts out on paper. It doesn't make anything better, but it calms me and keeps my heart going at a normal rate instead of the pounding race of anxiety.

1. I'm glad we can interact like civilized adults again. I'm also glad we never have to interact. 2. Gosh, we had fun. 3. I hope things are going better for you than last time we spoke. 4. The best memory I have of you is playing sword fight with sticks in the backyard like 5-year-olds. 5. I really wish you hadn't had to leave. I miss you every day. ("Things you would say to your exes.")

The 10 Most Significant Events in My Life 1. I was born, and then my twin was born, and then my sister was born. (age 0, 11 mos, 2 1/2 yrs) 2. I decided to love Jesus and was baptized. (age 4 & 8) 3. I started singing with the Phoenix Children's Chorus. (age 11) 4. I went to Austria, and got a penpal in Germany. (age 12) 5. I transferred to Northwest Christian School. (age 15) 6. I moved to Germany as an Aupair. (age 18) 7. I started working with Brad and Debbie Ellgen. (age 19) 8. I transferred to Southwestern College. (age 20) 9. I started nannying for the Champions. (age 20) 10. I transferred back to ASU. (age 22) While not all of these may seem like big, significant events, each was a step leading to something else. Each step set me on a path that would change who I am, what I do, and where I am going. It's amazing to look back and see how little choices had such far-reaching impact, and to wonder what is still to come that I can't see just yet.

animals I would like to keep as pets: Ragdoll cat - the biggest, laziest, sweetest lump of fur around. Siamese - one of these at the same time would just make a fun contrast, high strung and talkative as they are.

That is my opinion on cheating on people. We're coming to the end of the alphabet, where it gets harder and harder to find applicable alliterative titles, and the prompts are now the ones that I've passed over for many days. I'm also posting 3 times today, since I've gotten so behind. Anyways, yes, today's prompt is about my opinion on cheating on people, and like I've said, my opinion is that it is unacceptable. However, in a rather gray area that isn't strictly related, I believe it is very possible to have feelings for more than one person at a time, and not have either diminished in any way. If one is in a committed relationship (and all relationships should be committed), then acting on another set of feelings is inexcusable. Outside of that, I don't think that loving one person means you can't love another differently and equally.

There you are: a photo of the last thing I purchased. This afternoon was spent at a Spring Training game with Austin, Chantel, and Matt. The weather couldn't decide if it was going to be too warm or too cool, but it eventually found a happy medium. (April, April, der wei ß nicht, was er will...aber es ist immer noch M ärz . ) Despite being up very early for observations (their spring break was last week!), the day was delightful. After the game, Austin and Chantel and I watched some more How I Met Your Mother and then headed over to Rebekah's for spaghetti and cupcakes with dinosaur sprinkles and games and movies. I learned how to play "Betrayal," which is a VERY spooky game, but lots of fun. The other table played Bang!, which made the night a true "spaghetti western." What makes me happy is our group began to form a year ago on Spring Break, on an outing we decided was a spaghetti western. It's so nice to have come full circle.

I believe in one true God, who created the world from nothing. ( Gen. 1:1 ; Neh. 9:6 ; Deut. 4:35 ) I believe in His Son, Jesus Christ, who became a man while maintaining His divinity, and He was crucified and rose again. ( I Cor. 15:3-5 ; Col. 1:15-16 , 2:9 ) I believe in the Holy Spirit, Who is given to all believers. ( Rom. 8:9-11 ; I Cor. 3:16 ; Eph. 1:13 ) I believe that these three make up the Godhead, one in will and purpose and divinity, and there is no other god. ( Matt. 28:19 ; John 10:30 , 16:13-15 ; Acts 20:28 ; I Pet. 1:2 ) I believe that God is righteous and loving, and these are not a contradiction. ( Psalm 19:9 ; Ezra 9:15 ; 1 John 4:8 ; 2 Cor. 5:21 ) I believe that the only way to eternal life is through the grace of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the cross. ( John 3:16 , 14:6 ) I believe that there is nothing man can do on his own to earn salvation. ( Eph. 2:8-9 ) I believe that the faith that saves will produce good works. ( James 2:14-17 ) I believe that the...

What makes me different from everyone else? Well, that's easy - my laugh! Her hee! FAQ Have you always laughed like that? No, I did not laugh like that as a baby. It started sometime in junior high, I think. What causes it? No clue. The best hypotheses are that 1) I swallowed a squeaky toy and 2) I have laugh cancer. Can you laugh normally? That IS my normal laugh. There are times I chuckle "normally," but it usually means I'm not laughing very hard. Laugh! That's not a question, and I can't laugh on command. Neither can you. What's wrong with you? Nothing...except maybe laugh cancer. Be nice! Are you doing that on purpose? This is my least favorite question. 1. No, I'm not. 2. Why would I? 3. I think if I were going to make up a laugh, it would be something more believable than "her hee." 4. Why would anyone make up a laugh? 5. Do you know how much work it would be to remember to laugh a different way every time? That's ...

Life can be a mess. It comes with stress and frustration and sadness and heartache and worry. It's easy to get bogged down in all that and let it overrun your mind. There are various ways to get out of such a funk, many of which include some form of sugar, but they don't always work. There's only one thing for me that never fails to make me feel better. A hug. Not just a little hug, but a long, tight hug. There are studies that show that pressure (a good, physical kind) can relieve stress. Hugs are healthy! When I am miserable, the one thing I really want is someone who will just hold me tight, for as long as I need. Even though nothing else in my circumstances has changed, I feel so much more able to tackle it all post-hug. Maybe it's the feeling of someone caring for me, despite everything else. Maybe it's the warmth of friendship. Maybe it's just the act of being touched so nicely. But a good hug will always give me a good pick-me-up. (The best h...

If I had $1,000,000 to spend, I would... 1) Tithe. 2) Finish paying for school/pay off my loan. ( 3) Buy a modest house and fix up the things I wanted to fix up. 4) Sell Amadeus and buy a Smart car. 5) Write my parents and sister pretty checks. 6) Probably fly to Europe for part of the summer. 7) Replenish my wardrobe. 8) Take the Knights to a big, formal dinner somewhere fancy. 9) Stick the rest into 3 different savings accounts and let it accumulate for many, many years. 10) Use those savings accounts for a) future kids' college, b) future retirement, c) lots of fun with future spouse.

What could make me happier than time with some my favorite people and free pie on Pi Day? Time with ALL of my favorite people (which would, by necessity, include Rebekah ) and free pie. As it was, though, the evening was splendid, and I was quite happy indeed. Feeling a mite bad for descending on Village Inn mere moments before the end of the free pie period, and for being a group of 20(?), we wrote and sang a song to our marvelous servers Brandon and Mark. We also enjoyed lots of pie, and I am very sorrowful that I left my leftovers on the table. Alas.

Not that I ever plan to face this situation to begin with, but I don't have any idea what my death row meal would be. I love food so much! I think between my inability to make choices and the impending doom, my decision-making skills would shut down. I wouldn't know if it was time to have comfort food, whatever I was craving, or to gorge myself on something I'd never indulge in otherwise. Even thinking about limitless possibilities of food is making me salivate (or that could be the aroma of my creole black beans and rice wafting in from the kitchen). I LOVE FOOD. And eating! Oh my goodness, it's probably unhealthy how much I think about food, and eating it, and cooking it, and making it pretty, and sharing it, and and and...yes. That. In my mind, I see the incredulous, then bored, then raging facial expression of whatever poor soul was forced to accommodate my gastronomic requests and had to listen to me talk through every possible option, indecisively hopping ...

A quote I love (or, in this case, a poem) Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. - William Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Now, normally, I don't talk about kisses, because they're special. However, I couldn't really think of another prompt to go with "K." I have some kind of laryngitis and awful cough, and it seems to be muting my creative brain. I've been talking all day through a text-to-speech app, which is entertaining, but it's left my thoughts a little stilted. My last kiss was...a while ago. We stood in a parking lot, not quite ready to say goodbye. We'd always known we had only a short time together, but somehow we'd suddenly reached the end and it still managed to catch us by surprise. We sat there on the curb, talking quietly, leaning on one anothers' shoulders. Neither wanted to end it first, so we just stayed there as the afternoon wore on. Eventually we got up, and I opened the car door, ready to go. But I couldn't get in. He wrapped his arms around me, and I may have gotten some tears on his tie, as we just stood there longer, not wanti...

Job is one of those words that starts to look really silly if you type it too many times. Job. Job job job. It's so short and silly. It should be some kind of exotic fruit - a jobjob berry or something. Maybe I'm thinking of jujubes. Maybe I should go to sleep. Anyhoo, if I could have any job in the world... Well, I'm going to school for music education, I'm already teaching piano and voice, and this week I got to conduct in my first concert. It's very much affirmed my career choices - I love this! People often ask what direction I'm going to take with my degree, and I honestly don't know. Elementary general music is fun; high school choir is fun; private lessons are fun. Middle school choir is a no-go. I think if I could design my life, I would be a stay-at-home mom. I would have a [sound-proofed] music room at my house out of which I could teach private lessons and still keep an eye on my chillins. Maybe once the kids were a bit older I could e...

double-posting today - I've been too busy enjoying life and friends to post. Friday's prompt: 10 ways to win my heart. 1. Pay attention to me. Ask me questions, remember things, be interested. Read my blog, or look at the pictures I put up of my adorable baby cousins, text me. Little things. 2. Be sympathetic. Don't put up with my whining if it's truly childish, which I admit it sometimes is, but in most cases, I just want someone to listen and understand. 3. Touch me. Hug me, rub my shoulders, put your hand on my arm, let me lean on you. 4. Tell me it will be okay. I stress a lot, and need that reassurance often. Words of affirmation are so important to me. 5. Feed me. Self explanatory. 6. Read to me. Stories, articles, letters, children's books, poems, it doesn't matter. 7. Dance with me. Lead well, laugh gently at my mistakes, hold me close. 8. Pray for me. Pray with me. Over anything and everything, at any time. 9. Spend time with me. ...

People always talk about breaking habits, but I find it difficult to go on unless something else replaces the old habit. If you don't, you have a 'gap' where that habit used to be. So for the sake of alliteration, and because it then made me think, I like the idea of healing a habit - not only getting rid of a bad one, but replacing it with a positive one. But I digress. I have a habit of pouting when I don't get my way. I throw myself a little pity-party and sulk in the corner for a bit, indulging my whiny self as I moan that I've been abandoned or betrayed or made to look silly. I sometimes take it out in passive-aggressive texts or moody silences, harumphs, and sometimes actual pouty lips. I'm also the proverbial boy who cried wolf, because I do many of those things in a joking manner quite often. Most of the time, if I'm pouty, it's playful. It's fun and silly. But then there are the times when I feel like I can't control the reaction...

Goals for this month: 1. CONQUER my recital. (Okay, so that's a month + 5 days.) 2. Do 50 sit-ups (at least) every night. Why? Because I'm going to the Bahamas. :) 3. Finish my Signature Assignment early, so I don't freak about it being due the day of my recital. 4. Have a dance party every week. 'Cause it's awesome, even if it's me alone in my room. 5. Put an offer on a house!!

According to one of my voice students, everything is my favorite. She's right. I have lots of favorites, to the point that the word probably begins to lose meaning. And yet, I continue to use it, and each time I mean it with every gushing fiber of my joyous being. Sometimes they are my favorites for a long time, sometimes they change. Sometimes I have too many favorites, but then again, I'm not sure that's possible. Fortunately for you, the prompt limits me to only 20 favorites today. That's DIFFICULT! Laura's Favorite Things (limited to 20, and in no particular order) 1. That moment when, while singing with a choir, you can feel the throbbing of the music in your chest and it threatens to overwhelm you and carry you along on a wave of sound. 2. A whole bag of flavored potato chips to myself. 3. Holding hands. 4. Snail mail. 5. Pre-schoolers (and other small children). 6. When a student really learns something difficult, and I got to help with th...