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Showing posts from April, 2012

burdens on my heart

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My heart aches tonight. I have some very definite ideas of what I want out of life.  I have goals and I get close to them, and then they are no longer in my control and that frustrates me to no end.  I don't like having no ability to work towards what I want.  Patience is not really the problem; it's helplessness that bothers me.  Some things in my life recently have taken drastic turns, and I am left waiting indefinitely with no guarantees of a positive outcome.  The question becomes, do I keep waiting?  For how long? I don't want to give up, because these are things I care deeply about.  They are dreams I've clutched tightly and woven ideas around and fallen in love with.  I committed.  I knew it would be difficult, and I said yes anyways.  It's worth the heartache and the struggle and the waiting. I want to give up.  I don't want to care.  I want to be fine without these hopes, carefree and casual.  I don't want difficult, and I don't want to

summer break is back again!

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I would like to start by saying how I am always resistant to changes in social media.  I've adjusted grudgingly to Timeline on facebook, but...Blogger, you have been the same since I started with you 5 years ago, why did you suddenly change?  I do not like this unfamiliar territory.  I feel out of place as a I write, having to reconfigure where everything is and how to do all the little things that once came so easily. This was not the point of my post, since it was unexpected when I logged on.  It hijacked my train of thought. Today is the first day of my last summer break as a college student!  I am done with classes and finals and whatnot forever!  Next semester holds only student teaching, choir, and voice lessons (finally with a faculty member).  I have fantastic plans to enjoy my summer.  In a little more than a week I am headed for the Bahamas for my first-ever cruise with 7 of my favorite people.  What a way to kick off the break! Today, however, I was both very, very

pretty good day :)

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Today is one of those really good days. The kind where the sky is perfectly blue and the shuffle on your ipod works just right and your a/c stays cold while you nap in your car in the parking lot. I got to do homework by interviewing a friend, making it seem not very much like homework. More importantly, it was my LAST homework assignment for an actual class for my undergraduate career. (Lesson plans during student teaching don't count.) I got to listen to pretty music and be DONE with mandatory concert attendance FOREVER. I got to eat food with some of my favorite people on my last day in Schola Cantorum. I got to hang out and talk about exciting possibilities with Chantel. I had a great day at work, one where my students all listen and show that they're actually learning, and I have fun with them and realize how truly blessed I am that I LOVE my job. The best part, though, is a beautiful coincidence at work. 1) Someone rented my keyboard for the weekend, which means I get

He is Risen!

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Up from the grave He arose, With a mighty triumph o'er His foes; He arose a victor from the dark domain, And He lives forever With His saints to reign. He arose! He arose! Hallelujah! Christ arose! I think that is one of the most cheerful Easter choruses of all. Another favorite is Hillsong's "Stronger." There is just so much joy in Easter! My life is what it is because of this day. This is the day that changed everything - death was beaten, sin lost, Christ rose! He saved us! He gave everything up because He loved us so much. He died, was buried, and rose again after three days. He became our sin, so that we might become His righteousness. What a love! What a God! I am so grateful for the forgiveness of a Savior. No matter what I have done or will do, He loves me. His blood cleansed me, washing away every stain, clothing me in white. Because of His sacrifice, I will spend forever with Him in eternity, far from pain and sorrow. And He loves you, too. He d

the universe hates me

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I don't care if you are superstitious or not, I don't care how miserable your week was, never tempt fate with the words, "Oh well, it can't really get worse." Murphy will get you! Even after your awful week has ended, you might wake up on your new day of optimism with a throat so swollen you cannot produce sound the week before your voice recital. Things can always get worse. You're welcome for that cheery bit of optimism. Note to the universe: you may hate me, but God is bigger than you and He loves me. Romans 8:28-31 .