many manifestations of myself
I've had a lot of time to myself already this summer. My sister is up in Seattle for the summer, Dad works, Mom's been working out of town, most friends are in summer school or out of state, and I don't work till 3 or 4 pm each day. This means my mornings are full of...not much. It has more than made up for the hectic craze of the last semester, and
I'm ready for my life to be filled with a little more busyness again.
This week I was actually pretty good about not sleeping in super late and being a totally lazy bum. I've been keeping up with my cooking challenge to myself, though I haven't posted it. Last week's counted double, because I made pizza dough and pizza sauce from scratch recipes. It was pretty delicious, and I've still got a lump of dough in the freezer, and a small vat of sauce to be used. (I was expecting about 8-10 people and ended up with 4, so there were leftovers!)
Some days, though, I just laze around the house, wondering what I should do to occupy myself. This means there is lots of time spent staring at Facebook and lots of time staring at the wall and thinking. (I really need another good book...library trip on Monday!)
The thing about thinking so much all alone is that I start arguing with myself. Sometimes I feel like there are a whole bunch of me's in my head, and they all have a different idea, and we fight. It's a surefire way to get a headache. I don't have anyone at home to bounce my thoughts off of, and so they just stew around in a maelstrom in my head, overlapping and incomplete because before I can finish one thought, an opposing side jumps in to argue. It's very confusing, because I often process by verbalizing, and there is no one but the cats to talk at, which is entirely unhelpful. Ryan listened as I vented some of it out the other night, which was a relief and calmed some of the anxiety that was building.
Today, after my four hour online teacher training course, I was out of my mind enough to play around with photoshop, and ended up with this. If it was a more realistic impression of the chaos of arguing with myself in my head, they should probably be glaring at one another, fighting, and pouting. But I'm too sunshine-rainbows-kittens for that, so we all smiled.
Yes, I am going crazy. At least I am not yet turning into the crazy cat lady. And having roommates again soon will hopefully slow both processes.
This week I was actually pretty good about not sleeping in super late and being a totally lazy bum. I've been keeping up with my cooking challenge to myself, though I haven't posted it. Last week's counted double, because I made pizza dough and pizza sauce from scratch recipes. It was pretty delicious, and I've still got a lump of dough in the freezer, and a small vat of sauce to be used. (I was expecting about 8-10 people and ended up with 4, so there were leftovers!)
Some days, though, I just laze around the house, wondering what I should do to occupy myself. This means there is lots of time spent staring at Facebook and lots of time staring at the wall and thinking. (I really need another good book...library trip on Monday!)
The thing about thinking so much all alone is that I start arguing with myself. Sometimes I feel like there are a whole bunch of me's in my head, and they all have a different idea, and we fight. It's a surefire way to get a headache. I don't have anyone at home to bounce my thoughts off of, and so they just stew around in a maelstrom in my head, overlapping and incomplete because before I can finish one thought, an opposing side jumps in to argue. It's very confusing, because I often process by verbalizing, and there is no one but the cats to talk at, which is entirely unhelpful. Ryan listened as I vented some of it out the other night, which was a relief and calmed some of the anxiety that was building.
Today, after my four hour online teacher training course, I was out of my mind enough to play around with photoshop, and ended up with this. If it was a more realistic impression of the chaos of arguing with myself in my head, they should probably be glaring at one another, fighting, and pouting. But I'm too sunshine-rainbows-kittens for that, so we all smiled.
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| some days, there's nothing better to do than to talk to yourself |
Only one month!!!! Hope you don't go crazy during that month. Crazy roommates are no fun XD
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