Habits are hard to heal (+ bonus post!)
People always talk about breaking habits, but I find it difficult to go on unless something else replaces the old habit. If you don't, you have a 'gap' where that habit used to be. So for the sake of alliteration, and because it then made me think, I like the idea of healing a habit - not only getting rid of a bad one, but replacing it with a positive one. But I digress.
I have a habit of pouting when I don't get my way. I throw myself a little pity-party and sulk in the corner for a bit, indulging my whiny self as I moan that I've been abandoned or betrayed or made to look silly. I sometimes take it out in passive-aggressive texts or moody silences, harumphs, and sometimes actual pouty lips.
I'm also the proverbial boy who cried wolf, because I do many of those things in a joking manner quite often. Most of the time, if I'm pouty, it's playful. It's fun and silly. But then there are the times when I feel like I can't control the reaction, and then I start pouting and it's hard to stop. It happened tonight, and I got bitter and frustrated and grumpy, over a fairly small incident, but I was feeling left out and de-valued and such, and so I pouted. (I'm mostly over it.) I just wish I could replace that habit with realizing it's not all about me and moving cheerfully on with my life. I'm working on it.
CHANGE OF SUBJECT
Because of the blog challenge with pre-determined prompts, I haven't been talking much about actual life, but I have a need to talk about my evening.
Tonight was the very first time I was able to conduct a choir on stage for a concert. IT WAS SUCH A RUSH. SO much fun, oh my goodness. It has once again confirmed that yes, this is actually what I want to do with my life. I conducted the beginning mixed choir and the beginning women's choir on one song each, and I also got to accompany the women's choir (and I didn't screw up, which was exciting.) They did so well, remembering what we'd worked on and actually watching me and following and it was fantastic.
I think that I don't really do much - I'm not making any of the sound, I'm there keeping things together and trying to show the music. It's not about me. But by golly, I was sure enjoying myself. The choirs sounded great. It's a bit of a power trip to have people make sound just because I move my hand. I played with it a bit, and they responded, and it was COOL. Bring it on, student teaching!
I have a habit of pouting when I don't get my way. I throw myself a little pity-party and sulk in the corner for a bit, indulging my whiny self as I moan that I've been abandoned or betrayed or made to look silly. I sometimes take it out in passive-aggressive texts or moody silences, harumphs, and sometimes actual pouty lips.
I'm also the proverbial boy who cried wolf, because I do many of those things in a joking manner quite often. Most of the time, if I'm pouty, it's playful. It's fun and silly. But then there are the times when I feel like I can't control the reaction, and then I start pouting and it's hard to stop. It happened tonight, and I got bitter and frustrated and grumpy, over a fairly small incident, but I was feeling left out and de-valued and such, and so I pouted. (I'm mostly over it.) I just wish I could replace that habit with realizing it's not all about me and moving cheerfully on with my life. I'm working on it.
CHANGE OF SUBJECT
Because of the blog challenge with pre-determined prompts, I haven't been talking much about actual life, but I have a need to talk about my evening.
Tonight was the very first time I was able to conduct a choir on stage for a concert. IT WAS SUCH A RUSH. SO much fun, oh my goodness. It has once again confirmed that yes, this is actually what I want to do with my life. I conducted the beginning mixed choir and the beginning women's choir on one song each, and I also got to accompany the women's choir (and I didn't screw up, which was exciting.) They did so well, remembering what we'd worked on and actually watching me and following and it was fantastic.
I think that I don't really do much - I'm not making any of the sound, I'm there keeping things together and trying to show the music. It's not about me. But by golly, I was sure enjoying myself. The choirs sounded great. It's a bit of a power trip to have people make sound just because I move my hand. I played with it a bit, and they responded, and it was COOL. Bring it on, student teaching!
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