It's All in the Timing

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I feel like this ^ is the most common image to greet me every time I log onto Facebook. Everyone is having babies! EVERYone is having babies.

I feel very left out by not being pregnant, not getting married, and not even having a boyfriend. Usually I can leave it at that and move on, knowing I'm only 22 and therefore have plenty of time, and I'm in no rush. I really do like the freedom in being single! Occasionally, though, it hits hard and I start my own little spiral of self-pity.

I've been having this reoccurring dream for about the last month, in which I'm pregnant with a little baby girl named Hannah. They're startlingly realistic, and there have been times I've awoken fully convinced I am having a baby. Throughout the day I will find myself thinking of her, planning for her, and imagining her running up to me, or being scooped up onto her daddy's shoulders, or snuggling in my lap. It's quite surreal.

I really want a baby. It's been this way for a while and getting worse (obviously). But this weekend, I kind of had myself a dose of reality. I got to thinking about all the ways my life would change if, by some chance, I were to have a baby now. It was kind of paralyzing. Thinking about school, work, the house, expenses, childcare, trying to balance everything - not to mention being single - I sat there and thought through it all. At the end, shall we say I was a little less eager for Hannah to be real?

Don't get me wrong, I still have baby fever. I work in the nursery at church and I dream of the day that I'll have my own little one in there. But I have been reminded of the importance of waiting on God's timing rather than pursuing my own. Think about Abraham and Sarah, who didn't wait for God's timing for their baby, and all the trouble that came from that misadventure. When has venturing outside of God's plan ever turned out well for anyone?

I may be cheating by taking this out of context, but I believe the same truth applies in this situation. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" He knows what He is doing, I need to relax and trust Him. I have a really awesome prayer group that meets at school on Mondays, and one of the things we talked a lot about this week is keeping God our focus and not letting anything else get in the way or consume us. I admit, it's something I really need to work on. I love that His Word is so full of encouragement for times like this!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Psalm 40:1
"I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry."

Psalm 46:10
"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Psalm 145: 18-19
"The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him; He also hears their cry and saves them."

Psalm 37:4-5
"Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act."

God is my goal, living my life for Him is my desire. There are many other things I want in life - like love and children - but they need to come second to serving Him. Every now and then I get that backwards and start to question, but He is faithful to bring me back to Him. What would I ever do without His love?

Comments

  1. Anonymous26 April, 2011 23:00

    i know how you feel! all my friends are getting married, i want to so bad! but it's all in God's time. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rebekah26 April, 2011 23:34

    God's the best.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brooke Rabideau27 April, 2011 00:30

    Yeah I think it's a good idea to be done with school before having a baby. That way you can devote all your time to your little one. :) hang in there. It will happen when you least expect it :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Emma27 April, 2011 07:51

    Girl, you are only 22? You have got decades of baby time left! My mom had me when she was 42. I mean, obviously not ideal, but dont stress!
    I get the feeling too, because most of my friends are married, and I have been with my boyfriend for over four years, so often think, "Its about time." but its enough to know that God has some amazing plan for me that is bigger than my earthly desires! (Not to mention I can go out and do basically what I want, without the responsibility of someone else!) Such a hard lesson to learn, and one that I'm sure we will all be learning until the end of our lives.
    Do you like country music? Cause all I can think of is; "You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back.." :)

    ReplyDelete

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